Learner therapist (26)…… Communication Intervention Techniques

Learner therapist (26)……
Communication Intervention Techniques
Torrey Orton
Oct.31, 2012

Pathways to influence

These techniques are needed for moments when you lose sight of what's intended
by others, or are shocked or distracted by your own thoughts, or wonder what the other's expression means as they are listening to your response....and so on. All are points at which you may 'lose the plot' or be thrown off guard.
I call them "intervention techniques" because they provide a variety of ways to act assertively in a range of different conversational settings and purposes. Each technique is presented with some possible words you could use to implement it. You probably won't find them all comfortable, so some rehearsal will be particularly appropriate for these.
They were originally designed as a suite of tools for taking power in employment interviews and taught to 300 members of a public sector organisation undergoing what came to be known as downsizing under the guise of "restructuring". Whole departments' positions were declared redundant and members were invited to apply for the new versions of their old work. 25 years ago this was the leading edge of organisational transformation.
No one found it liberating except the managers who imposed it, until their time came later. It is a seriously disempowering process. There are many more of them now, similarly masked in econospeak. Here are some counter-measures at the personal level. I have added more everyday relationship examples to the interview focussed ones of the original versions of these techniques.
Ethical assertion

They are also ethical, I believe. That is, these techniques are actually the normal communicative behaviour of people in balanced community with each other – couples, families, clubs, associations, workplaces – but almost never in politics or "high performance" organisations. Where you find people comfortably engaging with each other you can observe many of these techniques being used without strain on any side. In that sense they are natural, but only to relatively low pressure settings. Looking for them around you is one starting place to learning them.
There are a few underlying principles shaping these techniques:

1. Self-disclosure is the best way to lead others to be more self-disclosing
2. Taking charge of the process of the discussion is the cheapest source of power available.
3. There's a strategic relationship between these techniques which moves towards more "shared facts" or agreed approaches.
4. Questions keep assertions balanced and,
5. Keep it short – small communication steps are clearer and less demanding of brain space. The greater the pressure the smaller the steps should be to ensure everyone is brought along together
   
   
   Opening statement: this is something strongly recommended if you are opening a new topic or concern in any relationship. The purpose is to get you started talking from your point of view and making an impression that you choose, not just a response to their direction! Actually having an excuse to start talk yourself gets you into action, makes you feel you have some initiative, gets the motor running. Following are a number of approaches you could take in an opening statement.
   As part of your opening statement about how the discussion might go, consider advising that you will check out your understanding of their questions and responses to your answers because you want to avoid misunderstanding (which you know is very easy in these circumstances); so you may "jump in" at points .
   Or, you may want to mention some factor(s) beyond your control which are likely to influence your performance - such as the fact that all your children were sick last night and you've only slept 2 hours.
   Or, at least, you may want to say how interested you are in this subject and that you're looking forward to the discussion!
   The techniques…
   
   1) - Evidence: how do you know they accept what you provided as evidence of the case you are making?
   
   "Some evidence for this is....... does that sound to you like a relevant example?"
   Note - an area in which this may be important is with questions about things like "proven ability to work as a
   member of a team" or "how will I know that you are doing what you say you will to change what we've agreed?"
   2) - Clarifying the question:
   when you don't understand what they're getting at, like:
   
   
   "....I'm not too clear what you're asking: could you say that in another way, or give me an example of what you mean...?"
       Or,
   Tell them that you are going to restate their question to them in slightly different words to test your understanding of it. Then do it.
   3) - Managing nerves:
   at the moment you are feeling nervous, say so if it is obviously going to get in the way; they will know it's happening anyway, so pretending it isn't doesn't work; saying something like the following may help:
   
   "I'm a bit nervous about this and one of the things I do when I'm nervous is.................; so it's nothing personal". Nb: this can be included in an Opening.
   A more confronting version might be:
   "I'm nervous about…. so maybe we should talk about it first before trying to deal with our main agenda…"

4) - Distraction:
when you've lost the plot for a moment and can't find it....

"Sorry, I got side-tracked for a minute... could you repeat that for me please..?"

Or,

"….and what I noticed was that…."

5) - Puzzlement at other's expression: you  are distracted by one interviewer's non-verbal response to something you're saying.

"You look a little surprised (shocked, put off, etc.) by what I'm saying... Am I getting the right impression?" If yes, then:

"What's striking you that way?"

6) - Strengths and weaknesses: one of the most difficult and unavoidable parts of many conversations

a) How to raise a question of weaknesses which may be seen to be the
difference between success and failure in this discussion?? Or, which may constrain your actual ability to do something you are discussing …

"I think I have a couple of weaknesses: x and y; I am in the process of doing something to reduce them - for example: ......"

Or,

"I'm not really too good at …. so I may have to proceed slowly, or get some experience elsewhere before starting on what we're talking about", etc. Note - this can be used in an Opening when you have a weakness like a quiet voice: invite the other(s) to signal non-verbally if they can't hear you clearly.

b) How to raise strengths which are competitively critical: that is, which are reasons why you are the candidate of choice.

"I think there are a number of strengths I have which make me particularly suitable for this position - for example:.."

7) - Suggestions:
for how the job ought to be done which go beyond the requirements of the job description or advertisement, or for factors affecting the matters you are discussing: like alternative viewpoints, new facts, persons with a stake, etc.

" There's some other things I think are important for anyone doing this job; they're not in the description, but......."

Or,

"I'd like to add a couple of things which haven't been mentioned so far."

NB - This intervention may need to be paired with Managing Nerves (3, above) for effective delivery.

 

8) – Jumping in or Interrupting - how to interrupt a process or remark to suggest re-direction, ask for clarification (see #2 above), make a suggestion (#7 above), etc.

"Excuse me a moment, but I would like to check out something you've just said before you go on, namely,..."

"Can we stop here for a minute?"

Nb – it's often useful to signal non-verbally the intent to interrupt by putting up your hand, shifting in your seat, clearing your throat; then, watch for a space and step into it with phrases like those above.

9) - Pre-empting - if you believe there is a common perception of a weakness in your performance which is likely not to be mentioned, but would be a major negative hidden influence on your chances, then.......raise it yourself! Or, if there's a hidden issue – one of those open secret things, elephant in the room – name it.

"One thing I'd like to raise is a weakness that people often say I've got....... I do (don't) think this is true because....."

Or,

"It seems to me there's something we all know: that this idea is a bit scary for everyone because we've never done anything like it before."

10) - Pause speech - acknowledging your surprise at a question - eg. -

    "I'm not too sure about that: I'll have to give it some thought for a second..."

Note - this is another way of giving yourself thinking space; your brain works at about ten times the speed of your mouth; so you can construct a hundred-word response in the time it takes to say this. This technique is an obvious relative of #2 Clarifying the question, but under greater pressure.

11) - Deflection
- to another point in the discussion when you think one issue belongs with another; or one question links to another for you.
    "Yes, I'd like to talk about that in a few minutes in connection with...."