Learning to act right (38)… The line
at the Fertility Control Clinic
Torrey OrtonMarch 1, 2014
Reaching
points of no return. This is one of them.
Tariq has always had a fine feel
for the line and a finely tuned capacity for drawing it. It comes upon him in a
flash he often doesn’t quite notice himself. We close to him see it arrive
before it is in his conscious awareness carried in a change of expression and
posture which takes all feeling from his face and settles a calm readiness in
his body. I know it is a human look of cold anger because I can mimic it to
others not present and see the fear flash on their faces. It comes when certain
lifelong value lines are crossed – for Tariq, ones to do with religion, family,
identity and others.
He has to defend himself both from
going over his own line (breaking his own rules) and allowing others to come
across it to him (allowing others to break his rules). This, as it sounds,
poses perilous problems of balance, since a perception of another’s approach or
of his own need to enforce the line can provide a mutually supported but
unintended energy to breech it, one way or the other, or both ways at once.
This conflict is clear at the
Clinic for all of us present who are engaged in defending our respective sides
of the line of protest. As the pressure to defend the line increases the
likelihood of a transgression increases, too. Tariq bears this pressure more
than the Friends* because he’s always there as security guard.
For example, the other day one of
us was running interference for patients being subjected to the usual “offer of
help” from two of the HOGPI’s** most intrusive providers, T and W. These women
uniformly disregard the known council rules for street proselytising in
Melbourne City Council domains: you may offer a pamphlet, a talk, a hello but
you must stop when the other signals (verbally and/or gesturally) their refusal
of interest. T and W’s refusal to stop offering their help is the key point of
enragement for us. We are powerless to stop them. We can only intervene
physically by stepping between patients and T and W once patients signal no
interest in their offer. This is the point, at times, where our frustrated, powerless
anger flairs verbally like this: “They said no, T.” loud enough to be heard 20
meters away, and definitely by patients 2 meters away.
We have spontaneously erupting feelings
of offence at patient treatment. These lines are drawn in a deep and broad rush
of blood to our extremities, but mostly expressed in our voices - “They said
no, T.” Trouble is, this can scare the patients more than it inhibits T and W.
Others of the HOGPI persuasion wilt in the face of “they said no”, signalling
their retreat by withdrawing to their designated side of the line on the
footpath and not participating in direct patient harassment.
On occasions, as this one, the Friends
energy aggravates patient fear/anger and attracts expressions of those feelings
in threatening forms, which we’re inclined to treat as rejection of our offer!!
And so, unknowingly, it is. Arriving patients have enough to concern them
without reading breastplates advertising our label (Friends of the FCC). Even
calm passers-by have trouble with that. Fortunately these events occur in 30
seconds, each being a new beginning as the patients arrive. There are few
repeat participants in the street drama, except us and the HOGPIs. The vocal and physical intervention moments
are so hard to describe my effort leaves too much to the imagination, but it is
just to feed imagination that I’m writing!! Its difficulty reflects the
difficulty of our efforts on the line at the Clinic.
* Friends of the Fertility Control
Clinic – volunteers seeking to reduce harassment of arriving patients.
** Helpers of God’s Precious
Infants
